Howdy ya'll,
If you're reading this then the choose has been made and BRING ON THE NIGHT trumped the others. For those who voted for that one kudos and congrats, I had a feeling it would win but I digress. Now before we pick up the story, which is why you are all here anyway, I wanted to have a little heart to heart with you. Well thank you to all those who read and reviewed, truth be told after a few hours I knew which story I was going to start, so that's why there are so many initials chapters for you to read. Now onto the point of this unusually long and unrelated intro--for those that didn't review, why not? Call it morbid curiosity on my part but I figured it you took the time to read through about FIFTY-THREE pages worth of sample ideas then a few seconds to say "I liked number ..." would've been a blessed break. I thought I was alone in this, but sadly I am not, a lot of writers who post here have to practically beg for reviews and that's not how it should be. Speaking purely for myself a lot of the ideas I had for my stories came from the reviews or they started me down a new avenue of exploration. As a writer I cared just as much about how the readers were taking to the story as I did when I wrote it, my punctuation and proofing sucked but hey I write around three am so cut me some slack : D, but when people spend their time reading and just say...well nothing it confuses me.( I don't see the purpose of reading and then just leaving to me that's like eating and running.) So are people just not reviewing because they think we are not looking or listening because we are and we do...and its kind of hurtful to see how many people sit back to read but aren't willing to say something constructive or even critical about the story. Look at the post count for any story and I guarantee you that for every FIFTY to ONE HUNDRED readers you have ONE post? That's a pretty lousy turn out. So I'm going to ask once more for anyone who reads any story, not just mine but anyone's, just take a few seconds and post something. ANYTHING, just let us know you're alive out there. A few weeks ago a very talented writer, and my own personal writing hero WILLOWFAN, actually thought of giving up because people don't review. Now the writer in me completely understood this because I almost abandoned Bring on the Night for the same reason....and the reader in me was embarrassed because I was guilty too. I would read all her stories and just take for granted that everyone liked it would say so in their reviews so what was the point of me raising my own voice. So keep this in mind when you read, because that's all some of you will do, but take this to heart it takes a long time to write what takes you a shorter time to read---very few people use the first drafts of their story. If you like us, love us, hate us or any combination in between tell us don't be quiet because that's not right and its not fair to us. Your reviews give me the courage to stand out there with my ideas, and my feelings/my heart, on the line waiting for you to speak. So I thank you again. To those who review writers appreciate you and we write for you, not for the others who are too selfish to consider what we feel, but for true readers like you. To those who skipped over it.....well what's the use its not like your reading it anyway. To those who read but don't review just ask yourselves are the few minutes of entertainment writers give you worth a few seconds of your time. I happen to think they are but I'm biased.
Well my lecture is over and I'm pretty sure a lot of people will skip over it all together or just ignore what I have to say, which is fine and that's their right, but to anyone who cares what it feels like to be in my place I appreciate everyone out there who reviews. For those that don't....I have nothing else to say about you OR to you. I'm done asking for reviews that won't come or talking to ears that aren't open.
Sincerely,
Nawtygrl
Now back to the story. Please read and review. FYI its the same text from the sample but you get the FULL epilogue which is a bit longer than what was put up. :D
Living in Darkness
Epilogue :
Pressing her head to the back of the elevator Willow felt a smile curling on her lips, she was exhausted but in a good way. Closing her eyes all she could see was Kennedy's smiling face, 'Goddess I miss her already and its only been fifteen minutes!' She shook her head and laughed they'd spent the last three hours exploring and understanding each other's body.
When they'd finished they'd both collapsed together cuddling under the expensive covers. Kennedy lay spooned around the red head propping herself up on an elbow she looked down at Willow, surprised but pleasantly, to see her cheeks flushed. Kissing the woman's neck gently the Slayer smiled, "That was very..." Tenderly she tucked the sheets around them, mostly around Willow, careful to keep them as close as possible something she always would want.
"Wow?" Willow supplied and Kennedy laughed softly.
"Yeah....I mean it was so damn intense, I could feel what you were feeling when we were.." Kennedy saw Willow's eyes widen and she nodded, "So you felt it too?! I mean I thought I was nuts for a second but when you started moaning I knew I wasn't....but that was way hot."
'I didn't think this mental connection could get any better,'Willow closed her eyes listening to Kennedy describe to her, even if she didn't have to, all the things that filtered through the interconnected web of their minds. Which apparently wasn't limited to just thoughts, but sensations and emotions...at one point there was even images! 'But I can definitely get use to this.' Smiling again she could almost see all the images of the Slayer's desires moving through her own mind again. Kissing... Caressing... Moaning... Passion...and always love. As hard as it was to believe Willow found herself being moved from fatigue back to desire.
Kennedy cleared her throat, "Uh, Will?" The slightly sleepy red head opened her eyes and when emerald met the warm chocolate she saw they were dark with desire, "I can...uh..uh we're still connected."
Willow flushed, 'Then you...'
Kennedy nodded as she pressed her forehead to Willow's staring into her eyes, 'Yep...I totally saw all those things that you were thinking...and felt.' Willow blushed but Kennedy kissed her quickly, 'No, no that's okay I didn't mean to pry but it just sort of happened.' The dark haired Slayer frowned a grim but very real possibility settling in her mind, 'Does that mean we can never turn this off? I-I mean its great knowing especially in bed...but we'll never be two of us.' All the little things, all the things in the past she was afraid to let Willow know about were in danger of being pushed into her head by the Slayer herself....and fear seized her for a moment.
Willow could feel the panic in Kennedy, shifting from her side onto her back she reached up and touched her face, 'Listen to me. I don't know...no I don't care about anything in your past but if you want I can put a wall up.' Kennedy frowned and Willow smiled, 'Saint taught me how to block my thoughts from the others that way they can't just reach in and take whatever they want....but with you I never even bothered to try I like this.' Kennedy's eyes widen as she started to speak, 'Not that you don't but its a lot for you to take in all at once I get it.'
Kennedy looked down, ashamed, here she was with the opportunity of a lifetime: knowing not guessing but knowing definitively what the one person who mattered most in this world to her wanted and meant...and she wanted it to stop. 'I guess Gwen was right---I'll always be afraid to let people in.' Sadness gripped her before it could spill into Willow she shook it off, 'Okay that wall thing...how does it work. I mean I think I should learn to put one up too...not just because of you but because I'm not crazy about people reaching into my head.'
"They can't." Willow sat up putting her back against the head board, "We can't reach into human's minds....we aren't even supposed to be able to talk to them." Willow felt a tremor of guilt passing through the Slayer as she realized what a miracle this really was, moving on the red head spoke quickly, "I'm pretty sure what we can do....no one else can do and uh I don't think we should tell anyone we can either."
"Why?" Kennedy sat up alarmed slightly by Willow's words, "You think they'd try something?"
Willow shook her head, "No most of the people here are really nice...its just...well this isn't something everyone can do and until we know why we can do it I don't think its a good idea that we broadcast it, okay?" Kennedy nodded caution was part and parcel to what a Slayer did. Willow swallowed thickly.
"Anyway...." Kennedy gave Willow a devilish smile and the red head smiled back, "I'm thinking that someone likes the naughty bits in my head." Willow flushed and Kennedy laughed, 'You know the one thing I really love about you and the vampire thing....all that stamina. Slayers we got that in spades its nice to find someone who can match it.'
'Match it?' Willow raised an eye brow reaching out she pushed Kennedy to the mattress, surprising the Slayer, then she straddled her lap careful to keep the sheet around her modesty was still a big part of the red head. Kennedy smirked as Willow leaned down playfully nibbling on her lower lip and kissing her slightly parted lips, 'I think my dear I have the advantage in the stamina department if you think earlier is all I had you are sadly mistaken.....' Kennedy smiled as Willow kissed her jaw and chin, tugging on the Slayer's earlobe making her eyes roll, 'That was just a refresher course.'
Kennedy raised an eyebrow, 'Refresher, huh? Well...you definitely passed---guess this means this is what extra credit?' She could feel the vibrations of Willow's laughter against her neck.
Kissing along the Slayer's neck Willow couldn't help but think about the last time she'd....been with a woman. That wasn't accurate she had only been with one other woman and that was Tara. Her body moved on autopilot remembering what and how to please her Slayer even as Willow let her mind wonder back to the few months with Dusty, her other Slayer. The fact was the two of them had never done more than share a few chaste kisses, which left Willow feeling shamed and Dusty wanting more, but the red head had never really felt that way about her. Dusty was a very pretty young woman people always looked at her bright blue eyes and all that blonde hair remarking how beautiful she'd be when she matured and became more ladylike. Dusty had a charm and style that was all her own something that attracted the admiration and desires of others even when she gently rebuffed them. For Willow sharing her bed and body with someone was the ultimate act of love and devotion....and she never really felt that special way towards Dusty. At first the young Slayer had chalked it up to the age difference, then to nerves but finally she'd given up; so for the four months they were a 'couple' they'd never been intimate, physically, not once. Something that had been a constant source of frustration for the randy young Slayer and had in truth been the only sore point, other than the obvious, between them. Willow had never known why she couldn't bring herself to sleep with the woman who had saved her from loneliness and depression after she'd come home to Sunnydale....well now she knew. Staring down into Kennedy's impassioned face, feeling the love and desire that moved through the web between them, Willow knew for sure why. She just didn't love Dusty...not that way, she loved the young woman of course just not in love with her.
'I love Kennedy.' Willow pressed one of her fangs slightly against the Slayer's pulse point and sucked making her moan, 'I don't feel anything but love when I'm near her and all I want to do when I'm there is get closer....if I'd slept with Dusty I think I'd be more sorry than anything else.' Willow saw the images flashing from Kennedy's mind between hers and she knew what her lover wanted, smiling and giving her most devilish smile she kissed the woman's collar bone...then her shoulder moving lower making the Slayer swallow thickly. 'Are you sure....I mean if I slip....' Willow playfully nipped Kennedy's left nipple with her fang making the Slayer shiver, 'It could be one heck of a hickey.'
Kennedy's mental laugh made the red head flush, 'Hon, if anything I'm kind of curious what that'd feel like anyway....besides I think I'd stop you if it got too interesting feeling.' Willow felt the cool confidence of the Slayer just as sure as she felt her desire, her own fears assuaged she continued kissing and teasing down the woman's tight body. 'Wow....that's definitely a new one....'Willow kissed the Slayer's stomach just below her belly button and started to move lower...when there were a series of quick tentative taps on the door. 'Oh what the hell...'
Willow stopped raising her head she looked towards the locked bedroom door, reaching out with her mind she frowned, looking down at Kennedy she started to climb out of the bed. Much to Kennedy's dismay, 'There's someone here....a woman, a vampire. I don't recognize her.' Wrapping the sheet around her Willow walked to the closet pulled open the door, smiling as she saw the white robe with the WR monogram on the left lapel, she slipped it on leaving the sheet behind her. "I'm going to get the door..."
"Uh....hey how about not and whoever it is can come back at a more convenient time." Willow suppressed a laugh at the irritation, no anger, burning in Kennedy's eyes. Moving back to the bed she gave her a quick kiss on the lips, 'No this is not cool! I swear at least at the school they wouldn't have...'
'Honey....this could be important.' Kennedy frowned and Willow kissed her forehead quickly heading towards the door when there came another set of taps, "Besides I definitely plan to pick up where we left off later...I mean you're not the only one whose curious about these." Willow gave her girlfriend a fangy smile making Kennedy raise an eyebrow, "I'll get the door and you should probably get dressed....sunsets in about forty-five minutes and I don't think Sasha is much on patience."
Kennedy nodded shaking her head as Willow pulled open the door. Sighing she stood up and walked to the open closet, raising an eyebrow she saw few of the monogrammed robes that Willow was wearing, 'Huh....wow they really do think of everything.' Shaking her head she put on one of the robes grabbing a pair of jeans and shirt from her side of the closet she headed towards the master bath. 'Whoever this is better have a damn good reason for interrupting or I'm starting my slaying early tonight.' Grumbling she went into the bathroom.
'I heard that.' Willow barely kept the smile off her face as she heard Kennedy's rant. Walking quickly through the living room Willow had to smile, 'I guess I am going to have to teach her how to block those...just in case.' "Coming...." Willow called out
'No not yet we were about to before they interrupted.' Willow swallowed a gasp at Kennedy's voice and she could feel the Slayer grinning.
'Not funny...behave while we have company, the quicker I find out what she wants the sooner I can come in and get your back for you.' There was a moment of hesitation from Kennedy then she felt the enthusiasm flowing into her Willow sighed smoothing her disheveled hair as best she could she pulled open the door, "Hello?"
The woman in the hallway was short, maybe five foot or a little smaller, she had long brown hair pulled into a tight bun and she wore thick glasses. Her arms were full of books and papers which she juggled for a moment as she took in Willow's disorganized appearance, pushing the glasses up on her nose she smiled showing her fangs slightly, "I-I'm sorry to interrupt your....uh sleeping but I." The woman reached out dropping a book...which Willow caught before it hit the ground, "Oh, dear...I'm sorry...I'm so clumsy."
'Wow....I've never seen a nerdy vampire.' Willow shook her head smiling as she put the book back atop the stack in the woman's arms, "No, no its fine....we were uh finished sleeping." An angry heat from Kennedy made Willow smile, "I'm sorry I took so long I wasn't expecting any visitors...."
The woman nodded, "Absolutely...I mean its your first day here who would be expecting company." They were silent for a moment then the woman swallowed, "I'm sorry where are my manners....my name is Amanda Roy." Willow shook her hand stepping back slightly she motioned for the woman to come in smiling gratefully Amanda walked over to the small end table at the edge of the sofa and sat the books down. "Uh I see from your reaction to my name you don't know who I am."
Willow flushed, 'Should I?' "No, I'm sorry....I don't know too many people yet, I mean other than Saint, Sasha and her team that is." Amanda nodded.
"Of course why would you know that....uh well my name is Amanda Roy, I already said that...oh but umm I'm your personal assistant." Amanda bowed low and Willow recoiled slightly.
"Personal assistant?...Why would I need a personal assistant?"
Amanda blanched, Willow felt a leak of fear and worry flow through her inner wall, 'Oh dear...I shouldn't have..'The leak was plugged and Amanda smiled, "Oh it's just that Saint always assigns uh new members assistants...sort of to help you get acquainted with your new environment."
Willow nodded not believing a word of it, "Really how nice....so Amanda whats with all this." Pointing to the books Willow saw the woman smile, relieved at the subject change.
"Oh well these are rules and regulations, apartment specs as well as a complete guide on how to operate all of the appliances here, these forms here are for you to schedule when you want the maid to come in as well as groceries and redesign request forms." Willow raised an eye brow as Amanda sifted through the stacks, "Oh I also brought a few different design books...in case you don't like what furniture and things are here you can just pick them out I'll fill out the form and we'll have them here by tomorrow..." Willow frowned and Amanda flushed, "Or tonight. As soon as you need them really..."
Willow held up a hand, "No it's fine...this place is really....wonderful." Amanda sighed Willow relaxed, "Who picked out the design?"
Amanda lowered her eyes, "Well...that was me." Willow looked at the woman who flushed, "Well I asked Saint about you a few days ago after my interview...."
"Interview?"
Amanda nodded, "I beat out twenty-two others for this job." She beamed slightly and Willow nodded, "So when she told me I thought I maybe could do some sort of merger....classic look to your bedroom since Saint said you liked the furniture in hers, the library and spare bedroom more modern and the living room something trendy and contemporary." Willow looked around Amanda really had done a wonderful job, "You really like it?"
"I love it...you did very well considering you never met me." Amanda flushed and nodded vigorously, Willow walked over to the stack of magazines, "I'd like to keep these though....my girlfriend might want to browse through them since she's staying here, too."
Amanda nodded, "Well just tell her whatever she wants I can get her...." Pulling out a PDA she looked at Willow over it and smiled, "So what sorts of things does she like...."
Willow smiled erecting the wall around her mind, "Well the gym was an excellent touch she's a work out nut....she likes video games and music and classic cars." Amanda nodded scribbling furiously on the screen then she looked at Willow.
"Oh my I totally forgot." Grabbing a white form from the stack she handed it to Willow who glanced over it and frowned, "That's the vehicle requisition form....just select a vehicle from the catalogue and mark down any amenities that you require. If you'd like more than one vehicle I can always get another form or as many as you require...I'll make sure the Acquisitions department gets on it as soon as possible." Amanda pursed her lips and frowned, "I won't be able to have it to you until the day after next at least...bu-but if that's not good enough then I can rush it."
'My god she's so nervous.' Willow shook her head, "That's okay I can use Kennedy's car if I need to get around."
"What about Philip?" Willow raised an eyebrow and Amanda shook her head, "Oh that's your driver....if you require one. A lot of the older members....well they don't know how to drive so we have to get drivers for them."
Willow couldn't help but smile at the idea of a bunch of vampires with learners permits, "No I have a license but I'm not much of a driver....but if you don't mind I think I'll let Kenny take a look at this maybe there's something she wants..."
"What do I want?" The two women looked towards the Slayer who was moving towards them towel drying her head, Willow took her in from head to toe and couldn't help but growl low in her throat. There was something about the Slayer fresh scrubbed and smelling of jasmine shampoo that made her all cravey again.
Willow flushed as she saw Amanda's face color, clearing her throat she grabbed a magazine and went over to the Slayer. Kennedy kissed her quickly on the lips, "A car." The Slayer frowned as she looked down at the magazine then to the woman, "Kenny this is Amanda Roy.....she's my personal assistant, Saint's idea, and she was just saying that if we want a car to just write it down and we can have it in a couple of days."
Kennedy raised an eyebrow as she looked first at Willow then Amanda, "Any car, huh?" The Slayer pursued her lips accepting the book from Willow she walked over to the couch and sat down, "So if Will wanted a nineteen fifty-eight red and white Chevy corvette then she could have one?"
Amanda nodded, "Yes absolutely....although this doesn't just apply to Ms. Rosenberg." Kennedy looked up and Amanda smiled, "Ms. Grayson, if you see anything you'd like I can get that for you as well....oh I hope this doesn't over step my bounds but I took the liberty of having some monogrammed robes made up for you. The maid will bring them up tonight." Willow felt Kennedy's surprise as she stared at the vampire.
'Wow.....hey, Red, I got my own robes now....' Willow smiled she was glad the Slayer was feeling more welcome than she'd anticipated. "No that's cool....what color are the robes?"
"Oh well...four white, four black, four red, five blue, five green, two purple and two pink." Kennedy frowned at pink and Amanda pulled out her PDA, "I'll have the pink ones disposed of...." A small alarm went off and Amanda's put hand to her face, "Oh my! I completely forgot....you have a meeting with Ms. Saint in half an hour...oh dear I was so busy gathering the books that I---"
Kennedy laughed, "Wow you're kind of twitchy for a vampire you know." Amanda flushed and Willow looked at the Slayer, "Will maybe you should go get dressed and I'll keep Amanda company." The red head nodded and walked out of the living room leaving Amanda standing near the door and Kennedy sitting on the couch. For a few minutes that sat uncomfortable but Kennedy flipped through the magazine, "So what other stuff can we get?"
"Well, Ms. Rosenberg mentioned that you like video games and music....I can get you an Xbox Exclusive in a few days if you'd like." Kennedy's eyes widen.
"That hasn't been invented yet...." Amanda shook her head and Kennedy sat up, "You mean I can get one....like right now....before they hit the market?!"
Amanda smiled and nodded, pleased by Kennedy's reaction, "Absolutely...if you'd like I can have an entire assort of them brought up...I mean gaming consoles. Saint's a bit of technology buff so she keeps stores of all those things."
Kennedy opened her mouth to speak but there was a knock at the door, as the Slayer started to get up Amanda motioned her back down and pulled open the door, 'Wow...and she butlers to boot. Saint can really pick them.' Sasha and Natalya stood in the door way, "Oh wow hey come in." The women nodded and entered as Amanda shut it behind them.
"Are you ready to go Kennedy?" The Slayer started to stand up as Sasha smiled, 'Amanda.....you haven't said too much have you?'
The woman flushed, 'No...no I almost did....I had no idea Saint hadn't told her yet....oh dear is that what the meeting is about.' A sharp look from Sasha who shook her head. "Ms. Grayson if you go out with wet hair you'll get sick...here let me take care of that." Kennedy frowned as Amanda walked over to her muttering slightly she put her hands near Kennedy's head. Willow walked in as a large gust of hot air rushed out of Amanda's palms into Kennedy's hair drying it. "There that's better."
Kennedy laughed, "Wow Will your assistant comes with auto dry!" The red head rolled her eyes as Kennedy laid the towel on the back of the couch. "Well now I'm ready....hey, babe, I'll see you when I get back tonight okay?" Willow smiled as Kennedy wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her into a hug. Natalya and Amanda flushed as Sasha looked towards the windows Kennedy kissed Willow quickly on the lips, "Are you going to wait up?"
"Absolutely....I'd wait for you forever." Kennedy smiled and Sasha cleared her throat making Willow flush, "Looks like you need to get going." Kennedy sighed releasing her a quick look at Sasha and Natalya then three of them walked out the door leaving Willow and Amanda alone. "Okay just let me grab my keys and we can go."
Amanda nodded, not bothering to point out the magnetic locks that will engage the moment the door is shut or that they could open them with the computer if need be. 'I can't believe I almost gave it away....Ms. Saint would never forgive me if I did....'
*******************************************************
There was a couple of sharp knocks at the door Saint sighed looking up, "Yes, Joanne?" Her own assistant popped her head in. "Is Willow here yet?"
Shaking her head she smiled, "Uh not yet Amanda and she are still upstairs....its just you have uh another visitor." Saint raised an eyebrow and started to come from behind the desk, "She wanted to see you briefly I told her you were busy but..."
Saint frowned, 'Who could it be...' "Show her in please." Saint sat down on the desk wincing slightly as her braced left thigh hit the desk, 'I can not wait until I get this thing off the marks it leaves are quite unsightly...' She looked down at the bulges and mis shapen trouser leg, all of her pants had to be adjusted to accommodate the brace, a sore point for the woman.
"Does it hurt still?" Saint looked up starting slightly as she saw Dawn in the doorway, the girl tucked her arms behind her back and smiled slightly, "Sorry I didn't mean to sneak up on you." 'I didn't think that was possible...'
Saint shook it off, "No I was distracted....uh anyway shouldn't you be sleeping, I'm afraid my playing might have kept you up quite late." Dawn stood across from her Saint tried to look nonchalant as she folded her arms across her chest. As was her custom she'd pulled her hair back into a tight bun held with chopsticks for a moment Dawn wished she let it down, she liked the way the sun light looked when it was in Saint's hair. Saint saw Dawn's scrutiny so she looked away briefly she'd stayed so long watching her sleep that she'd almost been caught in the early dawn's ray she had in fact been burned on her back but those would heal when she slept tonight...if she did.
"No, actually I slept really good....had a few interesting dreams though." Dawn flushed as she realized what she let slip out.
Saint raised an eyebrow, "What kind of dreams?"
Dawn flushed again, "Oh you know just...well different than my normal dreams." Saint nodded and a twinge of guilt passed through her. How do you tell someone that you dreamed of them? Not just dreamed of them but that you had thoughts, desires of them holding you in their arms, caressing you holding you, kissing you, loving you...and more than that. Especially when that person is another woman...and you've never, not once had another thought about a woman in that way. Dawn swallowed thickly.
"They say music can influence dreams.....but I guess different isn't bad is it?" Dawn shook her head and Saint smiled, she liked the way the girl's face looked when she was quiet...there was something so innocent and honest in it. Wetting her lips with the tip of her tongue Saint smiled, Dawn spied the fangs hidden beneath her lips. "......Does your sister know you're here?"
Dawn flushed, "Yes she does actually....I-I told her I was going to see how Willow's first day went here." Saint raised an eyebrow.
"So you lied to her."
"No I didn't." Dawn said quickly and a bit too loudly, "I just didn't say Willow was the only one I wanted to see." Her eyes widen as she saw Saint's eyebrow raised at the last part of her sentence.
Saint looked down and was quiet for a minute, "You wanted to see me?" Dawn swallowed thickly and Saint looked at her, the truth written all over her face, "Dawn....I'm glad, ecstatic that you consider me a friend b-but I don't think your sister would appreciate you lying to her to come here and visit with Willow...or me for that matter."
"She went out with Faith..on a date." Dawn said quietly, "I don't think I'm on her radar tonight...besides with a bunch of Slayers and Ancient vampires looking out for me I'm safer than anyone else in the city." Saint flushed as Dawn smiled. 'What you didn't think I'd notice three of those Ghost vampires of yours following me? Hmph I am the sister of a Slayer...'
Saint sat up moving towards Dawn. "Let me explain...the detail isn't because I don't trust you but because of what Sebastian's done I think its wise for you to have a permanent guard...ones I can trust I mean not that I doubt the skills of the Slayers but...nevermind forget I said anything." Dawn nodded looking at Saint hard for a moment.
"Wh-what if I want you to watch me....not them, just you." Dawn swallowed she didn't like to be the first to take a leap but it was obvious Saint wasn't going to, the woman was twice as oblivious as Willow had been about Tara's attraction to her...and that was saying something.
"I would've been but...." Saint looked at Dawn liking the depth of the girl's eyes, "I had to get things ready for Willow...if she says yes." Saint sighed, "I don't like not knowing...I don't handle uncertainty well." Saint shifted her weight onto her right leg and folding her arms across her chest instinctively Dawn reached out and seized the woman's left hand giving it a squeeze, Saint looked at the intimate touch then back at Dawn.
Giving her a reassuring smile Dawn met Saint's eyes, "Of course she will, Saint...if anyone can convince her then its you." Saint warmed at Dawn's words without realizing it she put her hand on top of Dawn's and looked into her eyes. The young woman's pulse quickened and Saint smiled as she heard it, for a moment they stood there Saint clasping Dawn's hand over her right arm and looking at each other.
Saint wet her lips with the tip of her tongue, "This is a very dangerous path you've started on...."
Dawn smiled at the woman's uneasiness, "But something tells me its worth it....besides who could protect me better than you?"
'Who indeed?' Saint wanted nothing more than to kiss her but she also had a million and one reasons not to, the top reason not just being her sister was a Slayer and would likely kill her but there was of course the girl's age to consider. Saint suddenly felt sickened and ashamed of her own thoughts... desires they were not only horribly inappropriate but possibly quite of base it was likely that Dawn felt drawn to Saint simply because of their shared traumatic experience at Sebastian's hands. Surely this girl couldn't really have feelings for someone...something like Saint, no impossible. "Y- yo-you're young....I doubt you've had feelings like this before...."
"I'm not THAT young, you know...I've had feeling for people before."
"This is hardly the same thing....y-yo-you don't know who I am, Dawn....you don't know the things I'm capable of doing...what I've done." Dawn felt Saint trembling and she wondered if it was from her nearness or possibly from what the young woman was feeling herself. She wondered if she could or would ever be able to break through the will and resolve of someone as strong as Saint, smiling inwardly Dawn had learned from Buffy and Angel's romance that the best thing to do with vampires was be strong and direct...eventually something would have to give. So what was stronger--the resolve of an Ancient vampire or the feelings of a teenager's heart?
Dawn moved closer, "But I want to know you." They were so close Saint could feel the heat from her body and it took everything in her not to touch the girl, as if she felt the conflict inside her Dawn moved closer, "I want to know who you are Saint....if you'll give me a chance." Saint opened her mouth to speak but found herself lacking the words so she moved forward not knowing what she intended when she closed the small gap between them.
"Saint, you wanted to see me." Willow opened the door to her office, freezing with her hand on the door knob when she saw the proximity of the two women, they reacted as if stricken. Dawn flushed and took a step back, Saint swallowed and moved away quickly not looking at either of them. Willow looked between them, what had she just seen...or almost happended. Raising an eyebrow she walked into the room snapping the door shut behind her, "Hey Dawn...what are you doing here I wasn't expecting you to come visit so soon."
'Thank you,Willow.' Dawn was glad the woman didn't press her about what she'd seen...or almost seen because she wasn't sure she could explain it, smiling she walked over and hugged Willow, "Yeah I know but I wanted to see what your new place looked like....I was on my way up but Saint said you were coming here so I'd figure hang until you got here." Willow stared at the auburn haired vampire over Dawn's head.
"Yes, I didn't want you to miss her." Willow met Saint's eyes but the woman moved on quickly, "Well I've got so much to ask you about...I mean I hope everything in your apartment is adequate, Amanda designed it all herself and she was worried you wouldn't like it."
'We'll talk about this later, Saint.' Willow held her eyes as she released Dawn smiling, "Yes it's great...although Kenny is going to turn our living room into a video gamer's play house. She was excited about the car requisition form...I hope its all right that she pick something out."
Saint raised her hands, "Of course I told you she'd get the same treat as any other member." Looking at Dawn she smiled, "If you'd like I can have Willow's assistant Amanda take you up to her apartment until our meeting is finished."
'Nice try.' Dawn smiled walking over to one of the chairs at Saint's desk, purposely brushing the auburn haired woman as she passed her, she sat down at the desk, "No that's all right I'll let Will show me around so you two just go ahead...act like I'm not even here."
'Oh you know that's impossible.' Saint swallowed she was suddenly very nervous, was it fear of what Willow might say or just having Dawn so near with her glance so unwavering. 'Damn I had whole way I wanted to go about this...' Sighing she smiled at Willow. "Firstly I'm glad that you've found everything here to suit your taste quite nicely and I want to tell you how happy and honored I am that you took me up on my offer. The people here aren't just my subjects....they are like family." Saint walked over to Willow smiling at her, "You have a family too so you must understand why it was so difficult for me to decide to retire, a decision I made centuries ago. With all the recent activities and events my plans for my retirement have been greatly disrupted.....it was always my hope that Aubrey would succeed me when I retired." Saint's voice was soft and Willow could feel the pain in her heart but she moved on quickly, "In fact I had been grooming her over all the years to be my successor. Training and testing her constantly pushing her to the limits and beyond....I helped make her strong but strength is not all it takes to rule over a people. It takes heart---and hers was the biggest I'd ever known. It takes courage and she lived with no fear, it takes wisdom something that I had instilled in her from birth.. It takes other things as well conviction, equality, compassion..but mostly it takes a truly self less heart ."
'Self less heart?' Willow frowned as Saint nodded.
"A self less heart .A great leader must be able to set aside all the things in her life and world, to put her people first and do what is best for them, and that is not always easy. Too often we are blinded by what we feel...and what we want." A quick glance at Dawn then Saint brought her eyes back to Willow, "Aubrey was my daughter and my reason for living....but she was too much like me in her heart about things. She was still so selfish---she wanted what she wanted and she was not yet ready to put aside all that she desired to do what was best for the others." Willow was shocked she never heard Saint say anything negative about Aubrey but she pressed on. "I know in time she would've learned to be more generous....in fact I believe her selfishness was my fault not just because of my spoiling and indulgence but because I denied her the one thing she truly wanted for herself so long ago...."
'Tessa.' Willow looked at Saint who lowered her eyes, she knew Willow knew. Dawn looked at them and frowned wondering what thing Saint had denied her. "Saint, Aubrey was a wonderful woman...and you helped her be that."
Saint smiled, "I know but anyway....as I had said I hoped Aubrey would succeed me and that in time she would be ready that her heart would be less closed and selfish. But that ship has sailed." All of them were silent for a long while and Saint sighed softly, "So I am left with a rather tenuous position....one that only you can help me out of."
Willow's eyes widen she was starting to understand what Saint was getting at, "Saint.."
"Listen before you speak please....Willow although the things I have said a leader must be you are all those things and more." Saint walked over to her and put her hands on her shoulder, "Willow you have the biggest heart I've ever seen....you gave mercy to a man who deserved none and you turned the other cheek at his every offense because you knew killing him would do nothing. You are the most self less person I've ever met....you died proving that."
Willow flushed, "Saint.."
"So I am asking you my friend to do me this one thing....." Saint sighed she remembered looking into Aubrey's eyes and seeing the same fear she saw in Willow, "Will you do me the honor of succeeding me, will you take my place as leader of the Keep...and Queen of the vampires herein."
Willow's jaw dropped slightly, there was a difference in suspecting the words were true but another in hearing them spoken aloud. One look at Dawn and Willow was sure she'd known what Saint was going to ask, 'Goddes...' "Uh....Saint this is so very generous and unexpected b-but I can't....I mean I don't think it should be me there's got to be other candidates more suited then me."
Saint shook her head, "There are none...only you." Willow shook her head and Saint nodded, "Willow you meet all the requirements."
"Requirements?"
"Yes, you are strong...determined...driven....loyal...wise...selfless...compassionate. And in fact your magical skill has surpassed mine at even my peak."
"Sasha...or Natalya....anyone is better than me, Saint...."
Saint smiled, "Sasha and Natalya are excellent suggestions but they can not inherit my throne." Willow frowned so Saint pressed on, "Besides they both think you are the not only the best choice, even more so than my Aubrey was, but the wisest choice....and I agree."
"But..." Willow saw that there was no chance she was going to change her mind so the red head walked over to the seat near Dawn and sat down, 'What on Earth....why....why....' She sat quietly staring at Saint's empty chair on the other side of the desk, "I'm not your fledgling...you said that to succeed you the person must be a blood link to that Brood people."
'Still trying to find a loophole, eh?' Shaking her head she sat on the desk between Willow and Dawn, crossing her legs as she sat down. "Well that would normally be true....but you summoned a blood skill Willow so there is no doubt that my blood is strong in your veins more importantly you are able to wield it with no training at all. Your power is the ultimate sign of the royal line the fact that you can do all that you can is proof that you are not only worthy of being my successor but destined to be..."
'Destiny she says....was I destined to die in a graveyard and come back as this.' Staring at her hands Willow swallowed, "I can't do it..."
Dawn grabbed Willow's hand, brushing Saint's knee, "Listen to me Will, she's right." Saint raised an eyebrow, "You're the one person in this world who knows what its like to be a vampire and walk with humans....you have a chance to heal all the hurt that Sebastian caused to change the destiny of Slayers and vampires across the world. You can really make a difference."
Willow was quiet for a long while as she looked at Dawn and Saint. Swallowing thickly she began slowly, "I'm not that brave....I just did what I had to do to keep my friends safe, I'm only determined when I don't have a choice, I don't like to fight and do anything to avoid it and I didn't ask for this power, this life it was forced on me." Saint lowered her eyes as she heard the no coming Dawn sighed and smiled at Willow, supporting her no matter what. "B-but ....Dawn's right. I can help change the relationship between Slayers and vampires....."
Saint raised her head her ears pricked up, "Does that mean...."
Willow swallowed and nodded, "Yes, it does." Looking at Dawn giving her hand an affectionate squeeze she looked at Saint, "I'll do it.....I accept. I'll succeed you as leader of the Keep."
Saint smiled at Willow and in an uncharacteristic display of emotion she hugged her fiercely tight, so hard that Willow could feel her ribs breaking, "Thank you...thank you." She swung the red head around in her arms and Willow was laughing almost crying, she could see the joy in Saint's eyes. In the chair Dawn smiled softly happy for Saint and Willow...but also strangely jealous. Why didn't Saint show such...passion when they were alone together? For a moment Dawn thought maybe she'd misread what was happening before Willow came in but she had sworn it was so clear....
Dawn watched them hugging each other, 'Wow..she said yes. I mean I thought she would but...wow. I can't believe it Willow's like a Queen now and Saint's ordinary...well she's a vampire so not much with ordinary but. This is so amazing, its wonderful...for everyone.'Dawn stared on silently frowning as she watched the ways Saint's hands lingered on Willow's hips and waist a few moments too long . They were looking at each other and it was obvious something was going on but they didn't seem to notice the intimacy of their embrace.
Willow saw the relief in Saint's eyes, 'Are you sure....that you want to do this retire I mean?'
'Always worried about everyone....that's another reason I picked you,' Willow flushed as Saint stared at her Saint sighed, 'But yes I'm sure that I want this besides all this does is free me up to do more....I have surprisingly few hobbies.' Willow laughed as she heard Saint chuckle, 'Maybe now I'll have time to get a few.' She pulled the red head to her and kissed Willow on the cheek, near her mouth, making the red head blush Saint stared at Willow, remembering the first time she saw her outside the Keep. Without thinking about it she reached out letting Willow's red hair run through her fingers. 'She's come so far since then...I knew she was special then but I had no idea just how special she would become to me.'
Willow saw Saint's eyes looking at her but not seeing her, 'She's probably thinking of Aubrey...' She put her hands on Saint's shoulders, almost wrapping them around her neck but stopping short of that action, smiling at her friend she spoke, 'Looks like I have to tell a few people about my status change...' Willow became thoughtful looking at Saint through narrowed eyes, 'What a minute....does anyone else know?' Suddenly Amanda's unease and Sasha's curt manners were suspect well those and all the respectful bows she'd gotten as she approached Saint's office now made sense.
Saint raised an eyebrow and chuckled out loud, "Sorry I'm not at liberty to say....my Queen." She smiled lowering her eyes and inclining her head slightly making Willow blush. The red head shook her head Saint was such a flirt.
'Okay they have officially forgotten me....'Dawn cleared her throat Willow and Saint both looked at the girl then they realized the intimacy of the pose and separated quickly. Dawn looked between Willow and Saint, the red head's arms tucked behind her while Saint's were folded over her chest, and suddenly she wondered if she really had misinterpreted what was going on with Saint. 'Maybe the reason she doesn't do the things I want her to with me is because I'm not the one she's interested in.....' Dawn frowned at the thought Saint and Willow together? Impossible Willow was crazy about Kennedy and Saint had to feel something for Dawn....but staring at them the way they were made Dawn uneasy.
"Well I guess I should get back to the preparations."
Willow frowned, "Preparations?"
Saint nodded, "Well we have about ten days worth of things I need to get done...."Suddenly she became serious as she looked at Willow, "After that your training officially begins because we have much to make ready....and little time to do it in." Smiling Saint looked at Dawn, "Thank you for your assistance---somehow I think your words are what swayed our red head."
"Oh no problem I just said what was on my mind," Dawn was shaking inside at the words our red head she looked at Willow and for the first time she wondered was she competeing with her surrogate sister? Shaking away the thoughts she watched Saint limp over to her bookshelf then she walked over to Dawn and held out the book to her, "What's this?"
"A present....I figure it is the absolute least I can do after your assist."
Dawn smiled, "The Story of O...I've never heard of it."
"I know how much you read and I thought you might find that interesting...its an original addition. It's one of a few books hailed as a classic that were put on the permanent banned list in nearly all public libraries." Saint's eyes shifted to Willow and Dawn looked at the red head, suddenly she wondered if they were in fact talking around her.
'Saint...that book is a little racey for Dawn to be reading.' Willow had read the story in fact she had read the sequel, Return to the Chateau, and had spent a large amount of the time blushing. The story was about a heroine named O who had a lover named Rene through her devotion to him she found herself becoming property of a bizarre group of men who sexually exploited their "lovers". It chronicled O's descent into the life of a sex slave and finally ended with the woman being completely debased by her lover Rene as he finds himself taken with another woman. The story was incredibly graphic in its sexual depictions and incredibly sadistic. 'She's only seventeen Saint...she doesn't need something like that advocating sadism in her head. I don't think she'll understand that book at least not until she's a little older.'
'You're wrong about the book...and about Dawn I think, Willow. ' Willow met Saint's eyes as the woman smiled, 'Its not about sadism or sex, that's what people want you to think, its graphic and people who see it think its profanity or pornography but its so much more than that. That book is a love story....its about just how much we are willing to give of ourselves as we submit to love because that's what love is. Its submission to a will that's beyond ours, someone else's desires we can't control...and accepting what they would ask of us without restraint. I think you're wrong I think Dawn might surprise you with what she understands of the adult world...' Willow frowned and Saint laughed softly, 'You know what you're right...that's not the type of book for a child. I'm sorry I just found the story so compelling.' Saint's smile slipped, "You know how about something else....I've got a few original Twain's or Shelley's...."
"No, I want this one." She looked at Saint then at Willow frowning, "Were you two talking a second ago?" Willow's eyes widen and Saint raised an eyebrow, "I mean not out loud but you know mentally?"
Saint cleared her throat after a moment of silence, "How about this read the book...and when you get a chance you can bring it back here and we can discuss it." Dawn pursed her lips and Saint smiled, "I knew the authoress briefly...I would hate for you to get the wrong ideas about her or her story so we can talk about it to make sure you get the message."
Dawn became thoughtful then she smiled, she did get the message. "Yes, I'd like that very much...."She turned to Willow and smiled, "Is it okay if I keep the book....I'm kind of curious why it was banned now."
"Uh okay...but since Saint's going to have her hands full you and me can talk about it instead." Willow's shifted to Saint, for a minute she wondered if Saint had just tried to give Dawn a reason to back to see her unattended. Willow shook her head suddenly feeling ashamed for thinking such things about her friend stretching she sighed, "Well I think we should be going upstairs I want to show Dawn around before it gets too late I hate the idea of her driving home alone late at night."
Saint frowned, "If it's too late I'll get a driver to take her home...oh Willow we have a driver all---" Willow held up her hand and nodded, "Oh yeah I forgot Amanda was your assistant....well I'm sure you are going to be busy yourself for a few days I'm sure she's given you just about every piece of paper on earth to study." The two women laughed.
"Yeah just about...."Willow put an arm around Dawn's shoulders and started to lead her out the office, "Oh, Saint....thank you again for everything."
Saint smiled, "It is truly my pleasure..."Her eyes slipped to Dawn, "Hopefully I'll be seeing you around...when you come to see Willow." Dawn nodded meeting Saint's eyes. She watched as they left her office then she went and sat down behind her desk, once there Saint stared at the papers in front of her. What the hell was she doing? She was being so damn reckless...so careless what was she thinking giving a book like that to a child?! 'God I must have really gone crazy since Aubrey left me...' She remembered the way Dawn had looked at her when they were alone she felt blood creeping into her cheeks flushing her face as a smile touched her lips, 'Then again maybe....maybe this is what I need...maybe she's what I need to feel again.' Shaking away the softness in her heart Saint took a deep breath, 'I've got a call to make.' Picking up the phone she punched in the number she was sweating bullets as the phone rang, the voice at the other end spoke in clipped accented English.
"Hello?"
Saint wet her lips with her tongue, "It's done. She has agreed---I have named my new successor and she has accepted." There was a moment of hesitation then musical laugher filled her ears.
"Has she really...how delicious.....so does that mean you are ready for us to come?" Saint shivered, she could hear the hunger in the woman's voice and it not only sickened her but frightened her immensely. She was dying to come to devour Saint and Willow whole...if she could get away with it.
Saint swallowed her fear, "No, not yet...I need more time....I have things I must do before she is ready." She heard the woman clicking her tongue, she did not like to wait, Saint cursed mentally. This was the one woman in the world who could make her life, nay her entire immortality very unpleasant, putting on her best sweet as honey voice she spoke, "I need two months...I have to make her ready and then I have to attend to Aubrey's...funeral of course."
"Of course...that's right, your child has died, has it not?" Saint hated the way she spoke about Aubrey as some thing, not a person not the second love of her life but an object. There was a moment of hesitation, "We will wait the two months....but remember this well, Precious, we have high expectations...and if this one is not up to snuff well...let us not be disappointed by this one." Saint remembered when They had come to see Aubrey and the first thing that her daughter had done was rebuff this woman....and she'd broken every one of Aubrey's bones with the wave of her hand. Insolence and pride were her greatest irritations thankfully Willow was neither insolent nor too proud.
Saint nodded, "Thank you." She started to hang up the phone but the woman clicked her tongue and Saint put it back to her ear.
"I so look forward to seeing you after all these years, my Precious, it will be such a delicious pleasure." Saint shuddered shutting her eyes, she felt in desperate need of a shower right then, "Well I'll let you go, Precious...oh condolescences on your daughter's death. Such a shame she died so young---she was quite the beauty if I remember correctly....almost as much as you are but we both know you will always have a SPECIAL place in my heart, Precious. Don't we?" Saint closed her eyes as two tears rolled down her cheek she heard the phone hang up, swallowing she put her head to the desk and began to cry quietly.
'Damn her....damn her to hell...'
*********************************************
"Bye, sweetie, call me when you get home okay?" Willow stood on the sidewalk on St. Claire as she watched Dawn climb behind the wheel of the yellow Mustang, waving she watched the car until it disappeared in the distance. Standing there on the sidewalk arms around herself for a moment she thought about following her but the feeling past, Dawn would be all right. Willow walked into the building trying to ignore the curious eyes and stares.
'Is it true? Is she the one....our new Queen?' 'A fledgling the leader!' 'Such disrespect...' 'Saint's gone mad.' 'Saint confuses her desires for what is best for us all.' 'She brings a Slayer into our midst and beds down with it AND now she will lead us? Insanity!' 'Disgraceful.' 'Shame.' 'Dirty blood...she's tainted she reeks of her Slayer lover.' She tried to ignore the thoughts that she was ripping out of their minds Willow waited until she was in the elevator and sagged backwards against the wall.
She was trembling as she looked at her hands, 'What was I thinking...they won't ever accept me the way they do Saint....'Willow swallowed thickly wondering if this wasn't a mistake but she shook her head, no time to doubt herself now. She'd just have to succeed and prove them wrong that was all and in time they would learn. Walking into her apartment she sat down on the couch staring out the window at the city smiling she turned on the television. 'I'll make them accept me...and Kennedy. Who I love is none of their business I am still a vampire and I am going to be their leader what I am and what she is will not affect this place. I'll still be me...'
**********************************************
Kennedy eased the door open she saw the red head sleeping on the couch and smiled peering back she smiled at Sasha, "She's sleeping..." Closing the door inaudibly she stood outside the door watching as Sasha took off the sunglasses and trench coat.
"Good at least I won't have to apologize for keeping you away from her so long tonight...." Kennedy laughed and Sasha smiled, 'Not a good way to be starting out with the new boss after all.' "You did exceptionally well out there tonight."
Kennedy chuckled, "Well I am a Slayer...but yeah it was sort of fun." Despite her initial unease at being the only human on a team full of vampires Kennedy found herself fitting in and feeling comfortable after only a few hours. The Ghosts were a well oiled and disciplined machine, each member had a certain role in the system and knew it well. They were fierce and competent warriors in fact Kennedy thought they were superior to just about any fighting force she'd ever seen, she frowned as she realized how disloyal to her Slayer sisters she sounded. 'Man I been with them one night and I'm already going native.' "Hey do you think you guys will need help tomorrow?"
"We can always use an extra pair of hands...."Sasha thought of something and laughed Kennedy raised an eyebrow, "If I'm not careful we may end up with fourteen Ghost on my squad." Kennedy laughed and shrugged, "But I could always do worse than you." Sasha did not pay compliments heedlessly and Kennedy had in fact performed as well...no better than she expected. The Slayer had figured out the workings of their system quickly and she made her own role in there often beating Sasha and Metzger to the kill. 'Who knows.....with Willow as Queen maybe a Slayer could be a valuable addition to my group...' Sasha turned and started to walk away but she stopped turning around she gave Kennedy a serious look, "Oh and uh...nevermind." How did you tell someone their lovemaking was disturbing you? Kennedy stepped into the apartment and Sasha sighed, 'Well at least I'll be able to sleep tonight.'
"Kenny?" Kennedy locked the door looking over her shoulder as she saw Willow sit up on the couch rubbing her eyes.
Kennedy smiled, "Hey, babe, I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you...."
"Its fine...its fine really. I missed you." Kennedy walked over to the couch sitting down and Willow instantly snuggled up against her resting her head on the Slayer's thigh. Leaning down she kissed her girlfriend quickly on the lips. "I was expecting you hours ago..."
Kennedy sighed, "Yeah I know but...well we ran into some demons and they don't exactly like people on their turf uninvited so we had to take care of them...sorry I meant to call." Willow shrugged and Kennedy yawned. "I'm beat its pretty hard to keep up with someone who can lift a two ton truck without flinching."
'She seems happy....and this is as good a time as any.' Willow laid on her back and looked up at Kennedy, "Uh Kenny...I have something I want to tell you...."
***For those who didn't read the Extended Epilogue you missed some pertinent information. As always thanks for reading and for reviewing. ***** |
